A friend wrote me awhile back seeking advice in his confusion over why he hadn't found the perfect woman even though he had stopped being an ass and sleeping with countless numbers of them. I stumbled across this reply I wrote him after he replied over a month later. Though his questions and replies will be kept between us, I liked what I had to say and decided to pass it on. Enjoy :)!
We (and by we I mean those like you and myself) seem to always get side-tracked easily. We tend to let that which make us an individual be replaced by that which we think will make us happy.
We sometimes think that someone or something will define us. We let ourselves date people who aren't compatible with us, because we had once found someone similar to our nature, and found happiness with them. We think that anyone can take their place, because a body
sleeping next to you, is just a body sleeping next to you. Who needs them to talk when you can make enough conversation for the both of you right?
So we date the masses, and become bored with their lack there of month after month. There are many who will take their spot because you, like I, have an amazing personality and a confidence people fear. Soon we start to see those around us as only bodies, and instead of
searching for another like minded individual, begin to shut out the world.
I shut out the world, and I did so gladly, to my studies. I had no time for men, nor the thoughts of them. I played with a couple bodies, and tried to convince myself they had minds - but eventually convinced myself it was hopeless. Around that time I met Navy. He was a body, not a mind, but I've learned he was filled with things that a mind doesn't always appreciate until it presents itself in a selfless manner. I needed what he was filled with to bring me out of whatever hole I had dug myself. Something that was kind, patient, and strong. The more I look at the mind's around me, be those in the hospital, the library, old friends, the more I can see that I would never really work with any of them.
I have a mind, and I will be the first to say I have a large competitive streak. Those that counter me will usually get a shrug as a reply, showing how much I doubt/don't care about their opinion - yet hours later I will look up the subject of interest to ease my curiosity as to whom was correct. I then looked back to all the relationships I've ever had. Non of my long term relationships had what I would consider a strong "mind". They were all smart in their own way's however, my first boyfriend could sing, my second - he had street smarts, the third... the third was a fighter and finally the current - he knows too much to list that I could never counter.
So here's my reply to you:
No, you don't want to be alone. You want to have the same happiness you feel whenever you fall into your infatuations. However, I do feel like you might be looking in the wrong places. Instead of looking at all the mind's around you - start with the body. If the body is to your liking, see what else it may hold. Don't lead the conversations to where you want them to go, let them lead you. No expectations, no regrets.
oh yeah, and if you want to have sex do it for pete's sake! You probably have enough tension to bring down the wall of china!
:) k?
like totally awesome dude *twirls hair*
me.
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