A fresh start

When I started medical school I was a different person. I went out more and I had less responsibilities. Over the years I changed, and I think my friends at the time either stayed the same, or I saw them in a new light.

I have pretty much given up on most of my friends. It saddens me, but I think I put effort into the wrong people. I'd like to think I'm not a quitter, but when it saddens me to stay around certain people... enough is enough.

Here are some reminders to myself so that I don't make the same mistakes with future friendships:

- Shit talking, not ok
- If someone is rude/disrespectful behind someone else's back to you, be assured they're the same way with others regarding you.
- Stop divulging too much information out about yourself, and attempting to help people when it's obvious they're using you.
- Make people work for your friendship... remember it's a privilege.
- Stop being so dependent on people.
- Friendships don't have to be strained all the time, usually... it just flows.
- Never personally attack someone in a fight, discuss feelings, but personal attacks end friendships.
- Walk away when someone personally attacks you, they'll probably do it again.
- Never burn bridges, you'll never know who you'll need when.
- Never work to be someone's friend when their loyalties obviously don't lie with you. Acquaintances are far less demanding and emotionally confusing.
- A friendship, like all relationships, only forms when an opportunity presents itself. Act on it.

I think I have ADD... whatever I felt like venting is gone... meh
xoxo
me

Focus

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - Romans 7:15

I read this on postsecret this week, and immediately thought about what I was doing at that very moment. I HATE PROCRASTINATING, but I just CAN'T stop!!! I wake up early every day, I sit down with my books in hopes or preparing for my boards, and NOTHING. I browse the internet until noonish, eat, and then freak out and read/take practice tests for a couple hours before procrastinating again.

I hate myself.