The first fight

So saaaaaaaaay I consider navy my boyfriend, and saaaaaaay we've been together since we first met, and saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay that in my weird world this all makes sense:

We had our first fight. (The first in 6 months)

In actuality this means I got mad at him - because god knows when he gets "upset" with me, I don't let him go 2 feet without spitting it out and calling him a big baby.

Anyhoo, the details aren't important - he was just being hypocritical and I brought it to his attention the night before he thought I was ignoring him. Due to some unfortunate incidents which involved my mother, an emergency room - and later my sister, and a prom dress - the baby thought I was ignoring him after calling him a hypocrite the night before.

This meant the turd decided to play stupid childish mind games that pissed me off. In return - I started ignoring him for real giving myself ample time to decide how to tell him to FUCK OFF. I.e. we (whatever I've decided "we" is) are done.

He ends up calling a couple of times, to which my roommate calls ME a baby and tells me to pick up. So I do, and navy met my anger:

Me: "Navy I'd like you to meet someone"
Navy: "Oh really who?"
ANGRY ME: "@#$(@?#*$&@(#*$&@(#(&@*%&(@%^!"
Me: "I think she just made her own introduction"
ANGRY ME: "@^#%(&@^#."
*Navy quivering in fear*
Navy: "sorry sorry sorry sorry"

Now I don't want to brag or anything but...

I'm scary.

And when I'm angry, I get insanely intellectual, I use big words, and I could probably debate the president and have him bowing to me in tears.

oh yeah, and sometimes I cry - I know I know but imagine this: Me. Angry. Sobbing

Angry Me: "@#%^@(%^@&($%^!!!" *SOB*
Navy: ""Baby don't cry"
Angry Me: *Punch*

Navy ends up showing up with 2 cacti (cactus plural) annnnd a bouquet of flowers.

Though the point that I won the argument (which had him apologizing for hours after *insert evil laugh here*) is exciting, I am writing this to make another statement.

Through all the bullshit, and the stupidness of the fight - it helped me understand I like him, A LOT. The thought of ending it hurt, and the way he handled it was perfect - yay flowers.

I really like him - sometimes I feel like I love him, but that would be stupid.

I still refuse to call him my boyfriend.
The end.

Why don't you just GET IT?!

My exboyfriend is a piece of work.

I am firmly convinced everyone has ONE ex that wont leave them alone. The kind that was shitty when you dated them, but the second you walk away has decided that you're the best thing since sliced bread and has made it their mission in life to win you back. I am also convinced if you don't have a person like this, you're either young or ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

No sane person has experienced this and ends up doing it.

Back to my story...

He won't stop calling. Its started up this week. Either he knows I'm back for sure, or is having a fight with his current girlfriend. This means I've been getting calls - thankfully only one a day so far.

He calls at 3 AM (my weakest hour) probably hoping I'll fumble for the phone and answer in a sleepy haze. HOW FUCKING ANNOYING.

So now I'm thinking of ways to make him think I no longer have the phone number... UGH

3 am interrogations are no fair

So this morning around 3 am my phone rings. I still haven't learned not to pick up without looking at the number first... especially since CPE has started calling again, ugh - IDIOT.

Anyhoo, I picked up, the convo went something like this:

me: *groggy* "hewwow?"
Guy: *my name*.
me: "Yes?"
Guy: You don't remember me do you?
*uh oh*
me: "uhhhh... no?"
Guy: "Did you meet any guys at a concert about a year ago?"
me: "umm... was it a fall out boy concert?"
Guy: "haha, yeah, do you remember my name?"
me: "uhhh... uhhh..."
Guy: "It's will"
me: "Oh hey!! How're you?"
Will: "Doing good just bought a bar?"
me: "well that's awesome... congrats"
Will: "I was just calling and wanted to see if you wanted to come by sometime. You're in town now right?"
me: "I mean... not tonight, haha, and I'm actually north of you now, so maybe sometime soon."

It ended with him telling me to come by for free drinks and to give him a call...

*BACK STORY*

I met this kid at a fallout boy concert LAST YEAR. We got drunk together, made out, I got lost and my friend called me on his phone (so he got my number). I was leaving the country the day after the concert. He text me, I text him back that it was nice meeting him, he txt me "I'm never going see you again am i?" I replied "probably not." I haven't spoken to him since last april...

HOW RANDOM?!

So I don't know how to act. I like that he owns a bar (yay free drinks!) I don't like how it's far away, and I'm also not sure the whole reason he called. I mean - I'm technically dating navy...

ugh

What are "we"?

I have issues. I really do.

Today navy cornered me and asked me what "we" were. I tried to dance around it, I cracked jokes, I played with my dog, and I didn't succeed in changing the topic whatsoever. He just kept asking, damn him. So I said "I don't know."

He countered with the typical, you're different when we're alone, why do you get weird and act like nothing is going on when we're out with friends, blah blah blah.

That's how a true playa roles homey (lol, I thought ghetto talk would fit nicely here), but no really. I really don't know what's wrong.

I've always been the anti-PDA girl, but it's getting worse. I don't even WANT people to know that I'm WITH navy. I find it slightly amusing when I see other girls hitting on him at the bar when I leave him to be with friends. I don't know why. He always looks over at me with this helpless sheepish grin, and tries to talk the drunk girl out of introducing him to her friend --- and instead of being the normal girl going over there to stake her claim... I carry on with my business.

I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to be tied down - and so far, other than having some unsightly fungus from an aircraft carrier (GROSS GROSS GROSS) he's been utterly perfect... gross.

I want an out.


Tonight I kinda got one. He went to B's house to give her chocolate cake (see? perfect, he went to go make her feel better on my request... *sigh*) and she text me saying she found naughty pictures on his phone. There's NO WAY he'd have ANY naughty ANYTHING of mine on that thing, so I text her it was probably some other girl and that I was going to bed. Then I text navy asking what pictures she was talking about, and stopped replying to B's texts.

Three situations came to mind.
1. B was looking at pictures navy snapped of me on webcam
2. navy has pictures of a random ho
3. B was playing a joke she thought would be funny.

I reacted thinking it was situation number 3, but in the back of my head I thought "this is my out."

IS THAT NORMAL?!

I meet a hot guy, really into me, who talks to me while I'm a million miles away, and the second I can get out of it I jump on it?

Then B calls me to let me know that she was joking and --- get this: I cry.

Yep.

Not an all out cry, just like one of those chest tightening, one droplet release kind of cry's that makes you sound like it's an all out sob when it's not.

I need therapy. Seriously. This shit isn't normal.

So navy calls me after he leaves her house, asking if I was ok, and I'm like "yep, fiiiiiine" and he bought it. Funny thing is... I am fine, if you call numb fine.

T. H. E. R. A. P. Y.

I hope he doesn't ask what "we" are again, I don't want to deal with this shit.

My blog.

I use to have a blog. No one read it except me. Then people found it, and liked it. These people seemed to like what I was saying and the secrets I shared. But then these people began to think they knew me. They started taking my blog from me. I would write about things that affected me which I couldn't speak to anyone about in the real world, and they would judge me.

So I've learned my lesson.

This is where I'll keep my secrets, where I'll share them with you without caring about your comments or reactions.

Welcome to my blog.