I don't want to lose navy. He worked hard to make me realize I loved him (no really, he did). I sat down and thought about my options regarding what I could do about the situation.
I can fight for him, or I can do what I've always been doing and let him become more and more distant till he's gone.
So I decided to fight for him.
This past week I've seen him at least 4 times, including 2 sleepovers (btw, freaking out the whole time thinking about how I needed to study). Slowly over the week he's becoming more like his old self, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I made sure I never brought up any of our fights, attempted to be light hearted, and - oh yeah - no talking about my test.
At first he was (or seemed) happy that I could spend more time with him, validating why I should by saying I needed time away from the books -- but over the course of the week, vs. hearing about my freak outs, he "saw" how much the test was on my mind.
On situation arose when my study buddy called me asking what I'd gotten done the day before, I left the room so he didn't have to hear me, but I guess he followed me out and heard the conversation determining I was behind schedule. I was disappointed with myself and gave myself time to compose "happy me" again. Navy walked in with me, sitting on the bed, somber, clutching my schedule, and muttering about how I was going to catch up. At that moment I think he realized how much shit I really had going on.
Then he turned into old navy *insert mushy stuff here*, and later called me to check in on my progress (unheard of) and sent me cute little text messages in support.
Now - I know this is only a temporary fix, but something I deemed necessary for our relationship. I was really scared I was going to lose him - and I just wanted to remind him how good we are together.
My thoughts currently lay with what happens after my test, where my clinicals will be - and if we can last the long distance.
As of right now, I unfortunately think we won't - he's young, hot, and has stupid blondes after him, but I am trying to be optimistic and not cross that bridge before I come to it.
I really do love him...
2 comments:
So, how's it going?
Hope you took a break from your studies long enough to enjoy the holidays.
I wanted to tell you I don't comment a lot here because I sometimes don't want my avatar/picture/whatever to post and I don't have a choice, but I wanted to say Happy New Year!
I haven't read all navy related posts, but whenever I hear "He made me realize I loved him", I just can't help myself wondering how you could've loved someone without realizing it? It's supposed to be one of the lightest yet heaviest feeling at the same time, and you had it without realizing?
Not criticizing - just wondering..
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