He is the most spoiled, lovable little shit you could possibly imagine.
No I don't dress him (but I totally would if I could get away with it) - ok ok, I gave him a cute little spike collar because he's tough. I made sure it was green so it matched his brown black and white fur...
stop looking at me like that
oh yeah, and when he cuddles with me, it pokes me in the face. Stupid collar.
Anyway.
I have decided to blog about him not only because I am obsessed, but also because he's sitting on my lap right now staring at the screen (and sometimes trying to type too).
He is a 30 pound beagle. OOMPH!
*side note*
I just figured out how to mobile blog (more reasons to procrastinate while studying!)
Therefore this blog will now be riddled with pictures of him when he does cute stuff. My boyfriend has had to deal with these moments up until now - I figured I'd give him a break :)
ha!
yay blog.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Faker
Sometimes I feel like I only am where I am today because I'm a good faker. That every step has only been accomplished by sliding by.
I am going to be a doctor. Someone that will hold someone's life in their hands.
Someone, who could come in telling me they have the flu with mild coughs, might have a life threatening pneumonia that I need to be able to diagnose and treat - so that they walk away fine and alert without having complications leading to a near death experience.
I want to go into internal medicine. I'm going to have to treat many, know all, and conquer none. I will have no life through my internship, and am aiming for a practice before I'm 30.
And right now, right now I CAN'T EVEN GET MY PRACTICE USMLE SCORES IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
WHHHHHHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL!
ugh, I feel like a complete and utter failure.
I study and cram and review a subject TO DEATH only to come back with scores WORSE THAN WHEN I BEGAN!!!
FUCKING SHOOT ME!
I can only imagine those with lower grades than me in basics are feeling... kill me now.
I am going to be a doctor. Someone that will hold someone's life in their hands.
Someone, who could come in telling me they have the flu with mild coughs, might have a life threatening pneumonia that I need to be able to diagnose and treat - so that they walk away fine and alert without having complications leading to a near death experience.
I want to go into internal medicine. I'm going to have to treat many, know all, and conquer none. I will have no life through my internship, and am aiming for a practice before I'm 30.
And right now, right now I CAN'T EVEN GET MY PRACTICE USMLE SCORES IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
WHHHHHHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL!
ugh, I feel like a complete and utter failure.
I study and cram and review a subject TO DEATH only to come back with scores WORSE THAN WHEN I BEGAN!!!
FUCKING SHOOT ME!
I can only imagine those with lower grades than me in basics are feeling... kill me now.
Monday, November 5, 2007
How does one save herself from insanity?
She blogs...
So I figured I should get back into this. Though I don't have much to write initially, I usually get into blogging mode when I listen to music. I have a lot of catching up to do, so I guess I'll start with the biggie.
Navy met the family. *gasp* I met his sister *double gasp* and now it seems like his family has taken me in as one of their own. *scream*
This is odd for me in many ways.
For one, I don't like meeting my boyfriend's parents. It gets too serious for me. It makes me think of bigger things like... how our parents would like one another, and how it would be like if we were married (omg the M word).
It's so serious, and so weird at the same time. Navy and I will be celebrating our "1 year" this coming new years. Tonight he and I had dinner, and I felt like I was still in high school. We sat on the same side of the table, held hands, joked around with our food, dressed nice enough to impress each other, and laughed the whole time.
Unlike other relationships navy and I don't really... fight. Don't get me wrong, we've had a few biggies - mainly 3.
I can honestly say that after one year with him I am still as happy, as I was when I first met him (rare), as when I first came back from basic sciences (infatuation should be fading), as when I saw him when I got off the plane from my review courses (infatuation should be gone), as I guess I'll ever be. Tonight at dinner still acted like we were... in love, a rare treat for someone with my track record.
Usually by a year I'm sick of the guy, annoyed by him, or have caught him cheating on me. It's like a curse that I would never make it past a year with any guy I decide to date. I always convinced myself my type was the cheating kind. The ones who usually pursue me enough to make it in, have usually pursued another girl around the time they finally won me.
I've also been taking in the relationships around me and appreciating my own more. My boards study buddy has been dating her boyfriend for almost 2 years now. Her boyfriend is similar to navy. When they argue he wants to walk away and not talk about it. He doesn't resolve things - which leaves their minor disagreements evolving into major issues. Where as I confront navy and force him into resolving the minor conflict immediately, she has let him walk away to the point where now they argue about everything and are in a constant uncomfortable fighting status.
I see their relationship and am so thankful that I have someone I can talk to, that listens to me.
Slowly but surely navy has won. He always told me he'd win me over, that one day it I'd see he was the one for me, that he was patiently waiting for me until that time.
I think I finally realized he's right.
He's not what I thought I'd end up with. As of right now he doesn't have a college degree, is in the navy, and is only full of promises that he'll be something great. But I believe him, and somehow the stubborn me has stepped aside and the supportive me (which is usually only reserved for myself ;) ) is backing him up and pushing him towards his goals.
Isn't that what love is supposed to be?
You push each other? Support each other? Grow stronger together?
So how does one save herself from insanity?
1. She blogs.
2. She surrounds herself with those she loves.
3. She plays with her adorable doggie :)
So I figured I should get back into this. Though I don't have much to write initially, I usually get into blogging mode when I listen to music. I have a lot of catching up to do, so I guess I'll start with the biggie.
Navy met the family. *gasp* I met his sister *double gasp* and now it seems like his family has taken me in as one of their own. *scream*
This is odd for me in many ways.
For one, I don't like meeting my boyfriend's parents. It gets too serious for me. It makes me think of bigger things like... how our parents would like one another, and how it would be like if we were married (omg the M word).
It's so serious, and so weird at the same time. Navy and I will be celebrating our "1 year" this coming new years. Tonight he and I had dinner, and I felt like I was still in high school. We sat on the same side of the table, held hands, joked around with our food, dressed nice enough to impress each other, and laughed the whole time.
Unlike other relationships navy and I don't really... fight. Don't get me wrong, we've had a few biggies - mainly 3.
1. He broke a promiseBut all in all, we don't fight (ok ok, one time I cried when I told him I was jealous of the hot blonde on his softball team - lets not talk about that embarrassing incident again). Most of those were on the phone due to our sometimes long distance relationship.
2. College
3. His ex girlfriend.
I can honestly say that after one year with him I am still as happy, as I was when I first met him (rare), as when I first came back from basic sciences (infatuation should be fading), as when I saw him when I got off the plane from my review courses (infatuation should be gone), as I guess I'll ever be. Tonight at dinner still acted like we were... in love, a rare treat for someone with my track record.
Usually by a year I'm sick of the guy, annoyed by him, or have caught him cheating on me. It's like a curse that I would never make it past a year with any guy I decide to date. I always convinced myself my type was the cheating kind. The ones who usually pursue me enough to make it in, have usually pursued another girl around the time they finally won me.
I've also been taking in the relationships around me and appreciating my own more. My boards study buddy has been dating her boyfriend for almost 2 years now. Her boyfriend is similar to navy. When they argue he wants to walk away and not talk about it. He doesn't resolve things - which leaves their minor disagreements evolving into major issues. Where as I confront navy and force him into resolving the minor conflict immediately, she has let him walk away to the point where now they argue about everything and are in a constant uncomfortable fighting status.
I see their relationship and am so thankful that I have someone I can talk to, that listens to me.
Slowly but surely navy has won. He always told me he'd win me over, that one day it I'd see he was the one for me, that he was patiently waiting for me until that time.
I think I finally realized he's right.
He's not what I thought I'd end up with. As of right now he doesn't have a college degree, is in the navy, and is only full of promises that he'll be something great. But I believe him, and somehow the stubborn me has stepped aside and the supportive me (which is usually only reserved for myself ;) ) is backing him up and pushing him towards his goals.
Isn't that what love is supposed to be?
You push each other? Support each other? Grow stronger together?
So how does one save herself from insanity?
1. She blogs.
2. She surrounds herself with those she loves.
3. She plays with her adorable doggie :)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Death by study
I have picked the date for my boards and am aiming towards taking them mid november. I am now rethinking the date and trying to figure a better one a month later.
Throughout this process I think I might be going crazy.
Since I study so much, navy has told me I have "nuke syndrome." Apparently all the "nukes" (nuclear engineer's) on the ship are uber smart. In fact they're so smart they don't get normal concepts. In navy talk he basically just called me a ditz. I can spit out the fact that the mentally challenged girl I saw at a national park has angelmann's syndrome, but ask me what time it is and I stare at the clock for a good 1-2 minutes before I can figure it out.
I have also been dealing with self esteem issues. My test grades aren't up to par, and I'm being self critical. This must also mean in my fragile little mind that navy doesn't love me anymore and that he's now attracted to the hot blonde on his softball team.
Yes, I'm admitting I was jealous... this is a once in a lifetime occurance.
It didn't help that Navy has been upset with me due to my study schedule. He isn't allowed to see me except for sunday's, and phone conversations are only permitted after 8pm (the phone is of until then). Therefore he's been acting strange, which aided in my quickly escalating jealousy.
However, I did speak to him about my issues (goo me! Verbalizing! I'm so proud of myself), to which he basically laughed at me and told me he would never and has never cheated - after which he expressed his frustration with my schedule and his life in general.
Other than that, my life is boring. I study, do questions, and (for the last week) obsess over small minute details.
updates:
- never talked to CPE - he e mailed an update on his life, i told him nothing about mine
- wrote the weird guy back and told him his advances were not wanted nor appreciated. He hasn't written me since, which has made me very happy.
I will probably blog more now that I am always trying to procrastinate - but it will probably be all about my boards. :/ ugh
Throughout this process I think I might be going crazy.
Since I study so much, navy has told me I have "nuke syndrome." Apparently all the "nukes" (nuclear engineer's) on the ship are uber smart. In fact they're so smart they don't get normal concepts. In navy talk he basically just called me a ditz. I can spit out the fact that the mentally challenged girl I saw at a national park has angelmann's syndrome, but ask me what time it is and I stare at the clock for a good 1-2 minutes before I can figure it out.
I have also been dealing with self esteem issues. My test grades aren't up to par, and I'm being self critical. This must also mean in my fragile little mind that navy doesn't love me anymore and that he's now attracted to the hot blonde on his softball team.
Yes, I'm admitting I was jealous... this is a once in a lifetime occurance.
It didn't help that Navy has been upset with me due to my study schedule. He isn't allowed to see me except for sunday's, and phone conversations are only permitted after 8pm (the phone is of until then). Therefore he's been acting strange, which aided in my quickly escalating jealousy.
However, I did speak to him about my issues (goo me! Verbalizing! I'm so proud of myself), to which he basically laughed at me and told me he would never and has never cheated - after which he expressed his frustration with my schedule and his life in general.
Other than that, my life is boring. I study, do questions, and (for the last week) obsess over small minute details.
updates:
- never talked to CPE - he e mailed an update on his life, i told him nothing about mine
- wrote the weird guy back and told him his advances were not wanted nor appreciated. He hasn't written me since, which has made me very happy.
I will probably blog more now that I am always trying to procrastinate - but it will probably be all about my boards. :/ ugh
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I will never be nice to anyone again.
I am known for showing my... dislike of people (usually skeezy men) when I don't know them.
I have now learned this is for a very good reason.
I have learned of yet ANOTHER weirdo, who is/was/has always been in love with me.
ugh - shoot me.
My first semester in basics there was a kid that hung out with people I knew from back home that I thought was weird. Apparently I wasn't too nice to him. After being yelled at a couple semesters about what a bitch I was towards him, I was nicer to him 4th semester before I left.
*side note* this kid WAS in my class, but failed a million times, and I think he's just now finishing 3rd semester - i'm in my 6th.
Recently he send me an e mail - not to bore you with details, it was odd... yet I always thought he was odd - and I wrote him back asking how basics was. The letter he replied back to that was... interesting - and basically said "lets stop punishing each other and be with one another now."
I forwarded the e mail to the friend who yelled at me for being so rude to him.
This brings her to tell me a story which involves him being in love with me since first semester, and blaming me for his failures because he couldn't get me out of my head. She had apparently heard it the night before from our other friend who just finished basics - who he confided in.
I AM HAVING FLASHBACKS OF FREAKY MED AND HIS VALENTINES DAY FIASCO FIRST SEMESTER!!! WHAT THE HELL!? FREAKS ARE DRAWN TO ME!
on another note:
CPE has also started calling again - he and his girl must be having problems. Navy finally had enough and called his number back. CPE hung up on him - i guess he was at a bar.
navy being possessive is hot.... grrowl.
Is it odd that I'm worried about CPE and want to make sure he's ok? He's like a sick puppy... I'd talk to him if I didn't think it would fuck him up more than he is.
I have now learned this is for a very good reason.
I have learned of yet ANOTHER weirdo, who is/was/has always been in love with me.
ugh - shoot me.
My first semester in basics there was a kid that hung out with people I knew from back home that I thought was weird. Apparently I wasn't too nice to him. After being yelled at a couple semesters about what a bitch I was towards him, I was nicer to him 4th semester before I left.
*side note* this kid WAS in my class, but failed a million times, and I think he's just now finishing 3rd semester - i'm in my 6th.
Recently he send me an e mail - not to bore you with details, it was odd... yet I always thought he was odd - and I wrote him back asking how basics was. The letter he replied back to that was... interesting - and basically said "lets stop punishing each other and be with one another now."
I forwarded the e mail to the friend who yelled at me for being so rude to him.
This brings her to tell me a story which involves him being in love with me since first semester, and blaming me for his failures because he couldn't get me out of my head. She had apparently heard it the night before from our other friend who just finished basics - who he confided in.
I AM HAVING FLASHBACKS OF FREAKY MED AND HIS VALENTINES DAY FIASCO FIRST SEMESTER!!! WHAT THE HELL!? FREAKS ARE DRAWN TO ME!
on another note:
CPE has also started calling again - he and his girl must be having problems. Navy finally had enough and called his number back. CPE hung up on him - i guess he was at a bar.
navy being possessive is hot.... grrowl.
Is it odd that I'm worried about CPE and want to make sure he's ok? He's like a sick puppy... I'd talk to him if I didn't think it would fuck him up more than he is.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Still Alive
The blog hasn't died, but I just might :/.
Studying for my boards right now - should be taking them soon.
Wish me luck!!!
Studying for my boards right now - should be taking them soon.
Wish me luck!!!
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