Sunday, June 1, 2008

:( bye bye car

My car was stolen friday night. Miserable.

Where I come from when a car goes missing from a lot, you assume it's been towed. Not my luck in this case. I come back to my car (only parked for 3 hours) to find it missing, and being told be a very nonchalant cop that "it's probably stolen" - said with a shrug and a roll of his eyes.

I start crying, he looks like me with that "deer in the headlights" look and mutters something about trying to figure things out. He then asks the parking attendant if it was towed... big help thanks. I then filed a report and was sent away with a "we'll call you if it turns up."

I think I only teared up for a good minute or 2 before I went numb, and I've been numb ever since. My lack of caring seems to be concerning me more than my missing car. Why am I not upset over this? Why am I not worried? Is there something wrong with me? I never thought I was desensitized to anything... I've always been a crybaby (at least in my eyes) and now nothing. No more thoughts of the car, no worrying the cops will call, no nothing.

Is that a sign of something deeper? Maybe I'm turning off my emotions to help me deal with navy. I've noticed myself changing songs on the radio when they give me that little ping in my heart - refusing to let myself think of what could have been. I've seen myself change TV channels when something romatic comes on, not wanting to see anything that will make me think romance of that nature is real... but I never thought I was numbing myself. The only emotion I've let myself really feel lately is anger (some stupid medicinist at the hospital showed a little attitude, I let it get to me a little too much).

I also slept in today till 1pm - god I hope i'm not depressed.
Miserable.

1 comment:

jordan said...

nope, haven't stopped, just been too lazy to upload the images. haha...

(and OMG your car! i had read through some of your earlier posts....hope you're doing ok.)